For centuries women have used cloth as a tool of comfort and as an expression of beauty within their homes. Creating cloth for warmth, cloth for shelter, our female predecessors embellished these linens with hand stitch using laborious and time consuming techniques thereby enhancing the functional beauty of objects which enveloped and protected their families. Inspired by these women I hope my creations pay tribute to and recognise the devotion expressed in cloth by our female ancestors .







''the use of traditional often time consuming process alludes to the devotion of a mother''. c K. A. Ruane 2007







Tuesday, December 14, 2010

not happy....


Various things affecting the mood here today....if you can't be bothered reading any further just put it down to ''hormones''. Firstly...where is the sun??? White is hugely difficult to photograph at the best of times, today? almost impossible. These are the best I could do, if they offend the photographer in you then I apologise, truly I do. Secondly...this. This work. This white. This embroidery. I am not happy with it. Don't know why. Can't put my finger on it. I think it could be the ''client'' (possible client anyway) I kind of have a feeling I may be punching above my weight, self doubt, inadequacy. It's easy peasy sitting here making things without pressure. Give me a ''client'' though and I become useless, floundering and doubting constantly. Would rather do the ironing, cleaning, shopping than sew. I have changed beds this morning, cleaned the bathroom. I have an urge to clean the dining room. All in an effort to not have to think about this piece.
My plan is to make several sections and join them crazy patchwork style. pretty, neat edges. Perhaps I will feel differently when I have that part complete. Thing is I am on a kind of deadline and if this isn't going to cut it I need to know sooner rather than later. Well best get on with it then I hear you cry..well yes, I know.

I suppose too that it's good to have these doubts at the outset. Would be a bit of a pain if I made the whole thing and then binned it. At least I can try and improve as I go along. Why do we have ambition? Why do we want more than we have? Why can't I be happy with life just rumbling along and not aspire to reach higher with my needle. Oh for contentment........

18 comments:

Miss 376 said...

I think we all doubt ourselves when we do something for other people, but they've seen what you do and must be happy with it or else they wouldn't ask you to do it. To my untrained, delirious eyes, they look beautiful. And remember the end is always better than the individual parts

Elizabeth said...

Pressure isn't fun and therefore even ironing seems a way better thing to do.
Just put your selfdoubt aside, we believe in our words:

YOU ARE DOING MARVELLOUS!!!!

Rachel said...

Karen, we think what you are doing is lovely, poor light for photography notwithstanding. Remember I wasn't sure that I'd got the Piano Shawl right until I saw it where it was destined to live. I only knew that I had done the best I could.
But my client was thrilled!

lillalotta said...

Oh Karen. Don't even start doubting. Start believing. Your work is beautiful, even if you were to photograph it in the middle of the night, it is still beautiful. I never like anything I do. Doubt is not productive, just destructive. Make a cup of tea/coffee, breathe and realise you do amazing work!

Amanda Sheridan said...

Persevere - it's beautiful (as always) - and 'the client' will love it I'm sure!

Things Hand Made said...

I think its looks good but I know what you mean about that niggle if something isn't right. Its better to listen to it now that find out later. Then again sometimes its just the stage it is at. Hope its is resolved soon

Debi From the Pacific Northwest said...

I think everything I've ever made, including something for someone else, has gone through a stage where I'm not happy with it. What you're doing is the right thing... busy yourself with something else. Housework is the best... you can do it on auto-pilot and your subconscious can chew away at the project you're working on. Ugly stages not-with-standing, just push through it.
NOW, as for YOUR work, it's amazing. Every single stitch is beautiful beyond compare. I don't know how you do it... but everything you do produces a perfect sigh of enjoyment in me. Don't doubt your talent! You've got a God-given ability to make needle and thread sing!

;~) Debi

Jackie said...

Hey! I'm the one with d********n.
You carry on with that lovely work. I like the way you have cut the circles into plain and stitched areas. they look great. Keep on...pretend there's no client..or pretend its wedding favours again.

helena frontini said...

But I do like it. Unfortunally I have no words to make you happier, but I really like your work!!!

Sandy said...

Oh yes, I was an advertising copywriter for many many years, and writing for clients always fills you with self-doubt! Would rather write for myself any day! But your work, as always, is beautiful work and it never fails to inspire me and make me love my needlework more than anything.

jennyflower said...

Silly sausage! Ambition is what has you doing a gazillion French knots instead of lacing cards or Binca- it is a positive force- even a little stress can be good; it got the house clean for a start! (hugsxxxx)

Jill said...

Grit your teeth, and keep going. As everyone said we have all gone through this. I haven't done anything as demanding as this for anyone, but my confidence vanishes when someone has asked me to create something for them - but your client loves your work, you will be fine.

Magpie's Mumblings said...

BIN IT???? Don't you dare even contemplate such a thing!!!!!!!! I know exactly what you mean though - I struggle with the exact same thing and am always afraid I will never measure up. I end up procrastinating over whatever I'm supposed to be creating and then having to whack out something in a hurry while going around saying I do my best work under pressure. Yeah, right.

Victoria said...

I sympathize as I cannot work on commission. I use to, and it always left me worried, and frustrated. I've certainly lost income by turning down the offers, but I know I am not cut out for it. But, if it is any consolation, the work you have here looks lovely to me... and I can not imagine anyone finding fault with your exquisite work. Hang in there, keep going and trust that it will all be good!

Suztats said...

When I have a deadline, and am gritting my teeth because there are so many other things I'd rather do, I focus on the object I'm creating, and try to eliminate all intrusions, I put on some favourite music that always gets me in the creative zone, and I pretend I am creating this object for me. I stitch in the moment, and with love in my heart (well, I try anyway) and things begin to flow. Hope it works for you.

jill said...

Go for a walk, do your dining room, give your brain a break, its good thinking time and makes you realise that what you have done is great, as previously said forget it is a commission, make it for yourself this is when you are happiest

sylviesgarden said...

Don't give up my dear, you have so much talent. The piece in the pics is stunning, the bottom one reminds me of snow because it's so delicate.
Thanks for the message. We are all suffering from poorlyitis so are pretty much feeling sorry for ourselves.
Keep your chin up, take care x

Johoanna Boykin said...

Your work is so beautiful. Just think, tomorrow is a whole new day. The sun will shine again. Don't fret about your photos. I have an aweful time getting good photos of my stuff. It doesn't help that I need a new digital camera. Many Blessings to you and your family.